'Companionable Silence' - weekly reflection 18th August 2024

There is a well-known story that anyone who has engaged in any study of prayer or spirituality will have come across.  The story is told of John Vianney a priest at Ars (1786- 1859) encountering an old man staring at the Tabernacle in the small village Church. (The ‘Tabernacle’ is the place where the Reserved Sacrament is kept) He asked the old man what he was doing. So, the old man looked at his parish priest and explained the heart — and essence — of all prayer in one immortal sentence:

“I look at him, and he looks at me.”

I remember reading of a mother and daughter in a restaurant. The mother wanted to take an opportunity to teach her daughter a life lesson as she moved towards marriage. So, the mother asked the daughter if she could tell who amongst the dining couples were married.  The daughter said, is it those wearing wedding rings.  Well yes, said the mother, if your eye-sight is that good you might tell that way. But just look at the way the older couples are sitting in companionable silence. And if you look carefully, you can see that it is companionable silence and not contemptible silence.  The younger couples have so much to say to each other, so much to find out and discover about each other. (Sadly mobile phones have taken something of this away!)

After 42 years married one of things that amuses Jane and me is the way we seem to have begun to look alike.  And then there are those moment where we act to say or do something together almost by instinct or intuitively.   

I have just read an excellent book ‘Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools: An Invitation to the Wonder and Mystery of Prayer’ by Tyler Staton and I can’t recommend it highly enough. Tyler argues persuasively that the focus of prayer is about developing a relationship with God. 

When we first embrace the Christian Faith we often chatter away to God and bring very many verbal prayers.  Then life settles in and there is a need for fidelity. To keep on keeping on when it might all seem ‘a bit boring.’  However, if we remain faithful the rewards of a developing relation will be that we begin to look like Jesus and to act like Jesus. We will find that we can sit in companionable silence, because we have learned over the years to trust that God has our best interest at heart and that He loves us.

You may recall a time a few years ago when the phrase WWJD – What Would Jesus Do was very popular, particularly on wrist bands.

Last weeks podcast from the Bible Project (www.bibleproject.com) continued the exploration of the Sermon on the Mount. Tim and John were unpacking – Ask, Seek, Knock. What is fascinating is that if we look carefully in the context where this comes, we will find it comes after teaching about getting our relationships right with each other. The, ask, seek and knock are asking for wisdom in how to make the right call in judgment, when it is right to judge and call someone to account, and when not and above all to recognise our own faults and failings. This recalls Solomon’s call for wisdom so he could judge wisely.  As ‘apprentices’ to Jesus, to use John Mark Comer’s words, in his book, ‘Practising the Way,’  we are to be with Jesus, become like Jesus and do the things Jesus did.

Our aim ought to move beyond having to consider WWJD and to know instinctively and intuitively what Jesus would do.  

‘…until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.’

Ephesians 4.13.

This ‘becoming as Christ’ is something more readily understood and embraced by the Eastern Orthodox Church under the title ‘theosis.’ This is a link to a useful short article explaining a little of what is meant by this term and this aspiration ‘to attain to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.’ Understanding Theosis - Orthodox Road

We have been looking after James and William our five-year grandchildren for the weekend. This enabled their mum and dad, Peter and Tabitha, to enjoy a child free romantic weekend in Stratford-upon-Avon.  As five-year-old boys they are full of chatter and ‘demands’ of various kinds. They are full of chatter about what is happening around them and they want to tell you. But then there are those times when they simply snuggle up to you, the chattering stops, maybe it is watching something on TV, but there is a deep companionship that happens that is simply wonderful.  

When was the last time you stopped chattering, stopped bringing ‘demands’ and simply snuggled up to Father God for no other reason than because you loved Him, and you know He loves you. When “you looked at him, and he looked at you”  Where you have learned what it means to sit in companionable silence.